Christian marriage counseling works well for couples who believe in the Word of God and want to really know how to fix a broken marriage. To find the right counselor, however, you need to make the right decisions about your marriage and how the counseling is going to work.
For most people, deciding to seek counseling can be tough. Still, once you make the decision, the next difficulty will arise when you start looking for qualified Christian marriage counselors to help with the issues you are dealing with.
You should feel encouraged as you search for a godly and qualified therapist to help you on your journey to finding resolutions to your marital problem. It is strength, and not weakness, to acknowledge that you need help from time to time.
Finding the Right Christian Marriage Counseling
Always look for a therapist who:
– Can provide evidence that they have solid counseling, biblical experience and training
– Loves people and perseveres through tough times
– Is confident that Jesus works through people
– Believes that God’s Word is sufficient for providing direction and wisdom to help us deal with life’s problems and issues
– Can provide clear evidence of a passionate personal relationship with Christ
Finding The Right Christian Counseling
- Get Wisdom
Ask God to give you the wisdom and discernment required to make the right decisions while seeking out biblical counselors. As a Christian, you probably know that God will give you the wisdom especially if you submit your requests in faith. God will also direct your steps so that you are able to find the right therapist to heal your marriage.
- Ask the Church
According to the Bible, there is great wisdom to be found in a multitude of Christian counselors. If you belong to a community in your church and have marriage counseling questions, therefore, you should ask your pastor to recommend a good Christian marriage counseling specialist.
God placed your elders or pastor in the church to provide you with care and direction. These people will, therefore, be in a good position to offer you some biblical resources or direction to meet your needs. They will also help you deal with the problem your marriage is currently facing.
In most cases, you might also find that your pastor or one of the elders is actually trained to provide marriage counseling. At the very least, however, they should be able to point you towards a good therapist who is also a Christian and uses biblical teaching to provide marriage counseling.
Similarly, your pastor should be the first person you speak to about your need to find a good counselor. They care about you and they are concerned about your happiness. They will also most likely be in a better position to show you the right direction towards professional Christian marriage counseling.
Alternatively, you also have the option of talking to mature believers that you trust. They might even have undergone marriage counseling themselves. If the recommended therapist was able to help your friends, then you might find that they are worthy to take on the responsibility of helping you get your marriage back from the rocks it is currently on.
- Seek Outside Counsel
Where necessary, you might also find help beyond the church. The internet, for instance, is a good place to check. Go through the websites maintained by different Christian marriage therapists. Then, make your choice from the shortlist you create.
- Consider Conflict Coaching
Competent marriage counselors will help you understand the heart and biblical issues that are involved in your marital problems. However, in most cases, the relationship might just be undergoing a breakdown in proper communication. This breakdown will make it difficult for the two of you to constructively discuss your marriage, even leading you to attack each other.
Instead of going straight for therapy, therefore, you might want to consider conflict coaching. It will help open up the lines of communication between your spouse and you. In the process, you will get on the first lane towards salvaging your marriage from the problems it is undergoing.
In such cases, in fact, you might find that trained conflict counselors who are also Christian mediators, will help to resolve the conflict. After that, you can comfortably move towards couples counseling.
Remember, mediation will reestablish communication so that when you start marriage counseling, you will already have identified the deep problems and issues troubling your marriage.
Important Issues to Consider
Your personal faith is important to your growth and development especially during the trials and tribulations you undergo. Even in the midst of intense pain and suffering, always remember that God will help you.
Therefore, you should look to what He promises in the Bible. For instance, God tells us that he won’t allow us to be tested or tempted beyond what we can actually bear. He also promises that he will be our refuge and strength whenever we need Him and His love in our lives.
He also promises that those who believe in Him will eventually find happiness and that everything will ultimately work for the good. Therefore, as you search for God through His Word, you can be sure that he will give you the wisdom and strength to make the right decisions with regards to Christian marriage counseling.
The better you and your spouse understand the problems your marriage is undergoing, the better placed you will be to deal with these issues. Similarly, such understanding will go a long way in promoting the growth in your love and in your marriage.
In particular, you must be willing to confront and admit your own contribution to the issues you are currently facing in marriage. Such willingness will help you find solutions that will ultimately help to fix the problem.
Questions To Ask Christian Counselors
While looking for professional Christian marriage counseling, you need to make an informed and understanding decision about all the therapists you consider. This is why you should ask them a couple of questions even before you book an appointment, or on your first meeting.
You certainly need to look for a therapist who is committed to the scripture and who is humble. These professionals will be better placed to help you fix your marriage in a lasting way.
You should also talk to wise Christian friends, elders and pastors about how the conversation with the counselor went, without leaving anything out. Tell them about the answers your counselor gave and ask for their advice in relation to God’s Holy Word.
The questions you need to ask to find the right marriage counseling, therefore include but are not limited to:
– What approach do you use to understand problems and help couples change and grow through counseling? Mind describing the process?
– What are some resources or books that you would recommend to people who have problems in their marriage? Or which books have influenced you most in your Christian approach to counseling?
– Do you believe in Jesus and in God? How has your faith affected your view and your practice of professional counseling?
– Do you seek to bring truth and honesty into your practice? In what ways? How do you use Scripture in your counseling?
– Do you, perhaps, pray with your patients?
– How often do you attend church?
– What is your professional and educational background?
– Are you married, and do you have kids? How does your family and marriage situation affect the Christian marriage counseling services you provide?
All in all, you need to remember that Christian marriage counseling is interactive. It is maintained, established and built on the basis of trust and open and honest communication. This is why you should take your time as you look for a professional couples’ therapist to help you fix your marital problem and restore it to pure bliss you are seeking.