There are a number of marriage counseling questions you and your spouse ought to ask yourselves before you seek therapy. One of the difficulties of undergoing counseling is getting your spouse to agree to it. However, you can get past this initial challenge, and get them to decide to join you for couples’ therapy.
After that, you need to prepare the following list of marriage counseling questions to help you consider how to fix a broken marriage and things that you will need to bring up during the therapy:
Therapeutic Marriage Counseling Questions
- What are the Main Issues?
Marriage is a union of two souls. Therefore, the things that matter to you might seem insignificant to your spouse, and vice versa. When you are in a relationship, the marriage counseling sessions will focus on these sources of potential conflict.
Therefore, you need to ask your partner what they think are the main issues affecting the marriage. Then, find out what the both of you can do to make the situation right and get your marriage back on track.
For instance, you might feel like the two of you no long spend enough time with each other. An easy remedy to this issue will require that you discover ways to enjoy your time with each other, and make it work. However, fixing a marriage requires solutions to problems that you are inherently aware of.
- What Are the Most Important Issues?
You also go out of your way to find out those issues that your spouse considers to be the most important (to them). Then, undergo marriage counseling to work on these issues first. You also need to air your own views about the most important issues according to you. After that, you will be better placed to work on these problems together.
- Should We Get a Divorce?
One of the more obvious marriage counseling questions is to find out whether the two of you ought to stay together. In some instances, you might be worried that your marriage has reached a point where you cannot go back to being with each other.
Unless the both of you agree fully that a divorce is the only way forward, you should consider marriage counseling. It will save your marriage in the long run and pull you up from that rocky patch in your relationship.
Remember, divorce is difficult and expensive. Therefore, you need to be 100 percent sure that you are ready to give everything up before you take this step. This is mostly because it is really difficult to take back your choice once you decide to divorce.
- Is This Just a Bad Phase?
All human relationships go through different phases. Depending on what you are going through, it is likely that you will end up falling out of and into romantic love with your spouse.
As you ask yourselves these marriage counseling questions, therefore, you should examine all the issues at hand. Then, decide whether your relationship has really reached the point of no return or if your marriage is going through one of those ghastly awful phases.
- How Do We Truly Feel About Our Relationship?
Whereas you may feel that it is too late to save your marriage, your spouse might be of the opinion that it can still be salvaged. If you have already got your partner to agree to marriage counseling, then chances are that you still have some hope left. However, it is still important to understand how your spouse feels with regards to mending your broken marriage.
- What Don’t You Like About Me?
In relationships, as in life, a couple of things about your partner are likely to get on your nerves. However, these things should not lead you to divorce. Still, lack of honor and trust might ultimately destroy your intimacy.
When you ask marriage counseling questions like these, you will be able to find out those things that your spouse wants to change about you. After that, you can work on these issues, so long as you are honest and upfront without making promises that you are not intent on keeping.
- How Do You Feel About Love?
Ask your spouse whether they feel loved. This is a basic question that you need to get hold of and use often. It is very easy to fall in and out of love, especially when your marriage hits a rough patch. However, the love in marriage tends to run much deeper than casual love.
Therefore, if you and/or your love still have lasting and deep feelings for each other, it is worth continuing working on your relationship. The trouble will only begin if you stop caring about the relationship.
- Do We Trust Each Other?
Trust is important in any sort of human relationship – especially in a marriage. If you have a difficult time trusting your spouse, or vice versa, then you might have some difficulty connecting on any level.
Still, regardless of how much distrust there is in your relationship, it is never too late to work on rebuilding your marriage. This is especially easy if the both of you are willing and ready to work together to resolve issues at hand.
- How Can We Regain Trust?
To regain your partners trust, or vice versa, it is imperative that you both forgive each other. In most cases, trust makes the both of you have negative thoughts about each other on account of injuries caused in the past or you can even give christian marriage counseling a try. It has a long and successful track record of working for married couples.
Therefore, you should learn to talk about your feelings and needs. Freely share the reasons behind why you did what you did. Then, ask for forgiveness. Always promise to never repeat the mistake again and live up to this promise. You should also ask your partner to instruct you on what they need from you so as to regain their trust.
- How Satisfactory Is Our Intimacy?
Most couples will experience a change or two in their love chemistry during their marriage. One of the most important marriage counseling questions you should ask, therefore, should be how the both of you feel about your sex life and related intimacies.
In case the chemistry dies, your partner or you might feel tempted to search elsewhere for it. This is why you need to rekindle the spark.
- Are You Cheating?
Where one partner starts considering divorce, chances are that they might include other people in the picture. In case of infidelity, therefore, you need to find out whether there is a way to fix the problem and move along with your marriage.
Ask your partner about what they feel they are lacking in the relationship. Find out what led them to develop feelings for the other person. Although most cheaters never get caught, it is imperative that you fix the problem if it does exist.
- Have You Considered an Affair?
Some people tend to cheat on their current partner. Find out if your spouse has been considering it, then ask them why. The answer they provide to this most vital of marriage counseling questions will open your eyes to the problems in your marriage, and help you find an appropriate solution.
- What Are Your Counseling Expectations?
Find out from your partner about what they expect from the therapy sessions. There are better chances that you will be able to work things out if you are able to align your hopes and expectations before you start undergoing couples’ counseling.
- Why Do You Want to Work Out Things?
You should ask your partner about the reasons they have for wanting to make the relationship work and move on past your current rough patch. If their response is centered on commitment and love, then there are high chances that you will be able to rebuild your marriage and work together in the process.
However, if their response has to do with staying together for the bills you two share or for the sake of the children, then you might want to start reevaluating your relationship.
- Do We Have Past Conflicts That We Ought to Resolve?
Asking yourself marriage counseling questions will enable you take the next step forward. However, this might be hard especially in the case of unresolved conflicts. After all, not only will things from the past keep cropping up whenever the two of you argue, it will also be very difficult to get close to people who are angry about something you did. Therefore, you need to find out whether there are any unresolved conflicts from the past. Then, work on these conflicts and move on from that.
- Can We Communicate Comfortably With Each Other?
Communication is important in a marriage. If you feel like you cannot comfortably talk to each other, then it will be very difficult to work through your current problems. This means that you should seek marriage counseling and find ways through which you can improve your communication without getting angry or judging each other.
- Is There Acceptance?
Last but not least, you should check whether your spouse feels accepted and loved by you. This is because it is important to have support and to gain acceptance from our spouses. Therefore, asking these marriage counseling questions surrounding acceptance will help you understand how your spouse feels. You can then work on finding ways to accept and appreciate your partner and the marriage as a whole.