As you look to find affordable marriage counseling, you need to understand that it is never a good idea to wait until the both of you are on board. If one partner feels that there is a need for another set of ears and eyes, it is probably time for you to find a marriage counselor.
One way to minimize conflict around this issue is to agree that either partner is allowed to unilaterally exercise the option to go for therapy whenever the need arises. Create this agreement before the relationship starts deteriorating and you will be good to go.
How To Find a Marriage Counselor
- Timing Matters
Waiting too long might prove to be costly to the relationship. The more entrenched your problems, the longer it will take to resolve them. In some cases, irreparable damage might occur especially if you do not take the steps required to save your marriage early enough. This means that you should also do everything in your power to improve and repair your relationship, including seeing a therapist.
- Discern Your Feelings
Only choose to work with marriage counselors you feel good working with. Knowing whether you have the right counselor is easy. However, both partners should be on the same page, otherwise one of you will end up feeling like they are wasting their time undergoing therapy.
Therefore, you should consider asking the potential candidates any questions you feel might be relevant. Find out whether they are competent and if they are a good fit for the both of you.
For instance, you can find out their education, history, marital status, and their experience in treating other couples with problems similar to yours. In case they refuse to answer your questions, then you will be better placed to seek help elsewhere.
- Understand Your Needs
As you look to find a marriage counselor, you should be clear about what you wish to accomplish from the entire process. Most couples seek counseling with a wide variety of intentions, which might be shared or not.
Whereas some might simply want to deal with the problem that brought them there in the first place, others will be looking to regain the romance in their marriage. Similarly, you might be looking to transform your relationship into one that is even better than it currently is.
Whatever the case, it is vital that you give some thought to this query before you start counseling. Finding the right answers will considerably expedite the process. You should also remember that your intentions might change or shift. Should this happen, therefore, feel free to adjust or extend the goals you set for counseling.
- Take It in Good Stride
You should also remember that your therapist is a consultant and not a fixer. Therefore, you should not expect them to fix your marriage. Whereas they will use their expertise and experience to help you along, at the end of the day, it is your responsibility to mend the problems that ail your relationship.
In conclusion, couples’ counseling is a dynamic process. It involves interactions between 3 adults and will require that each partner takes a proactive role. This means the both of you must be willing to influence the outcome of the therapy. Therefore, when you find a marriage counselor you are comfortable with, work with them but take on the responsibility that is ultimately yours.