Finding answers to the question ‘how can I save my marriage’ should be easy. The hard part will be actualizing the steps required to bring that valuable breath of fresh air into your relationship. Use the following tips to make it happen:
The first step to learning how to save your marriage revolves around opening up the lines of communication with your spouse. Talk it out and find out about what they think and how they want the relationship to improve.
As you start communication, remember the following:
a) Don’t Accuse
Accusing your spouse will only burn the bridges even further. Therefore, you should understand that no one is perfect.
b) Keep Calm
In case things take a turn for the worse, be careful not to answer rudely. In most cases, when there are problems in a relationship, you might be tempted to fight back. However, this will only make things take a downward turn. Instead, hear them out and think about what they just said. Then, answer with great calm and composure.
- Seek Counseling
Although marriage counseling is expensive, it offers valuable insight that will help you understand your marriage and relationship dynamics. Your therapist will help you identify what went wrong, from an informed and emotionally distant place.
Since they have no stake in the relationship, they are also less likely to cut corners, forget inconvenient facts or lie. In most cases the answer to ‘how can I save my marriage’ usually is uncovered by going for marriage counseling’.
You should also test the waters to find out if change will be had. For instance, if your spouse seems unwilling to bend, then you might have some difficulty creating the change you are looking for.
This means that you should first find out whether your spouse wishes to make the changes required to save your marriage. This is because it is difficult helping people who do not wish to be assisted.
Some ways to test the waters is by asking your spouse if:
– They are willing to see a couple’s counselor
– They love you the same way they did during your wedding day
– They are willing to sacrifice to make things work
- Piece It Back Together
Start by creating a safe place where the both of you can communicate. In most cases, marriages start falling apart simply because both parties forgot how to communicate. It also happens when you feel embarrassed or unsafe while communicating.
To encourage the right type of communication, consider doing the following.
a) Find Time
Set aside a period of time for the two of you to just sit and talk. Cut off work, TV, children and sex from the equation and just talk. Talk about your issues, about the day and anything else that comes to mind. It will encourage deeper communication.
b) Permit Venting
At times, your spouse might just want to get things off their chest. Remember, they might not be looking to be directed or analyzed. They just need you to listen and give them a shoulder to lean on.
In conclusion, learning the truth to ‘how can I save my marriage’ will require effort on both your and your spouse’s part. You should take the initiative and do everything in your power to fix it. Ultimately, the steps above will teach you how to save a failing marriage and when it succeeds, you will be glad you used the above tips.